Setting Healthy Boundaries

I am often asked for advice about the efficacy of “toxic people” in the power they have to “train wreck” their day.
If you are being “slighted, put down, verbally attacked or verbally abused” please consider setting some healthy boundaries. Remember “NO” is a complete sentence.
People are habitual. You may have been the recipient of verbal abuse over a long period of time. Perhaps it is time to set boundaries. If you gently and quietly after a slight pause, speak these words or words that work for you, you will have set a healthy boundary. You may have to do this several times until the message is received. A hand, flat and pushed forward with the word “No” is a powerful statement.
Presented in gradual firmness…
1) I am feeling hurt by your words. Please stop.
2) What you are saying is really hurting/offending/disappointing me. Please stop
3) Please be gentle with me. I am hearing your verbal attack
4) What I have heard you just say really hurts me. Please don’t do that.
5) Please don’t say that. It really hurts me.
6) Your words are not sitting well with me. Please stop this verbal abuse
7) Please stop, you are hurting me. (then change the subject.)
8) Say, “Stop it”
9) I’m going to hang up now. Your words are hurting me.
10) Walk away or Hang up.
Here follows an interesting verse that might apply to toxic people in your life and the pain they might cause you. This bible verse sets out a very healthy boundary…
2 Corinthians 2:1
“So I made up my mind that I would not make another painful visit to you…”
“NO.” is a complete sentence.
Fr. Nigel W.D. Mumford+

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